A HAND IN THE FOG

XIX

She remembered the description before go.

“Since the moment she began to separate objects to the suitcase to go – she could see like a background scenario – his face in the airport at the moment at the meeting. She could feel his hands on her. She could relax in his hug so strong and soft. She could feel the delicious smell of his kiss. They would talk about trivialities on the way to get the car – but with the arms touching and hands by hands. She would look at his face and would smile so happy. And during the journey from the airport to home – the joy of being together again was expressed in caresses on the skin – as if to make sure of reality.

He would put the suitcase into the car and after on a delicate chair into the beautiful bedroom.”

And it was if she could see the future.

They were together.

When they hug each other – she felt that each meeting was a different meeting but also a similar meeting. Only the love sensation permits such ambiguity of the emotions – she was sure of this.

She was happy.

With a smile and opened arms he was there waiting for her – like a poem where the rhyme was done without precaution or metrics – but a real rhyme.

He took her picture coming into the exit door from the airport as a joke. A ludic action – and hug her. Delicious meeting. They made a silence for a while and she could feel so warmish in his arms. And her breath became calm. And his hands support her.

They were together.

She knew that she could never describe exactly that feeling. Impossible. Feeling is much more an act than someone can suspect. It’s an inside act – and for inside acts the words are not necessary or even be feed for grammatical rules. That’s the moment when a word or thousand words – didn’t reach to say anything.

She discovered – a moment after – some about words. Words are worth than mathematics. Numbers can multiply, add, divide or decrease and translate correctly. But words need absence to be present. And almost smiling – she discovered why she hated numbers. The numbers showed her the fragility of the words.

The act of a meeting – much more deep than all the words in any language could describe or translate – is constructed in some else moment that is not clear. Maybe in a moment when both were not close – or in a moment that just the hand or the eye made the perfect movement. And this inside act was constructed in slumber of the consciousness. Beautiful.

She was touched.

He was holding.

He was touched.

She was holding.

They were together.

And they went home like she had previously drawn.

If the languages can’t translate, the bodies can decode. She just was not right if the opposite works also but it didn’t care. Ecco li: cioè la presenza in assenza cancellata e dimenticata!

She smiled trying to make a joke or revenge to the – at this moment – abandoned words.

The sound of their smiles, their voices inside his walls, the music, the smell, the noise outside – all these so soft details put her in state of calm. But she didn’t tell him – just was close to him, touching his hair and kissing him with so much pleasure. A lot.

And she finally understood herself through his skin.

They were together.

When she went to sleep in that first night together after so many time separated – in the dark of the bedroom she turned her head many times in the night to see him.

With the hand – touched softly many times his body.

Moving her body close to his body she could feel the warmth of his breath. And there was not one only of these movements that he had not “answered” the touch and the movements to be close.

She smiled in the silence of the dark of the bedroom.

Yes. They were together.

Looking through the window she saw the thin crescent moon. She knew that in the first night of the full moon – they would be separated again. And moved her body so closer to his body.

But much more would happen in front of the crescent moon in that first night together – after so long time separated.

In the morning – very early – he woke up and called her name. She smiled remembering the first time of all the time. In the beginning of the beginning he made the same – called her name. At that time she was thanked – she had forgotten who was she in fact.

Of course so much changed in her mind – she went on trying to identify her self. She was sure that she was being rebuilding – in general or in details her style of Life was changing day by day.

She learned much more about the Past in this Present time. With him the Past was first well naked – and after well dressed – and sent to the right place. Fantastic.

And the Present – they were together.

She hugged him and said – yes. He smiled.

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