A HAND IN THE FOG

XVII

That was the first time they would be without talk for some days.

Nine days.

She tried to make jokes with her self to decrease the feeling of lack.

Nine days. A woman waits nine months. A whale waits twelve months. And the nine days seemed so fast. But of course she was not pregnant and she was not a whale.

She was just waiting for nine days.

It was so easy.

No. It was not so easy.

She remembered their beginning. And she was surprised. It was in the same month and they were nine days without talk.

And she remembered when he came back and wrote a message: good morning. She never more forgot that morning. She felt a huge happiness.

But now it was different.

She missed him so hard. But pretending being a caring lady she said to him in the last day they talked – do not worry. Please, do what you have to do and we can talk later – when you come back. Have fun and enjoy.

A lady.

But after nine minutes they didn’t talk – she became to miss him. But – more but – she knew that he needed that time, he had so much problems and it was a time for him and his self. Perfect.

Perfect in theory.

No. Perfect. She remembered one of her phrases – we know when we love a person because the level of selfish is low.

It is true. It was true. She missed him but she asked for nothing. She just would wait for the nine days.

She had her own life, her hard job, unread books. Of course all together would make the time fly away. Much better than a whale, poor whale that had only the ocean and nothing more to do. And must wait for twelve months.

So many philosophies came to share with her the missing. Time is inside the time. Time is private. If you think in the future – the future stopped to exists and just the present exists. Maybe something similar – it didn’t matter.

The important it was be calm and wait.

Be calm and wait – what a terrible pair. But she obeyed this authoritarian partnership and went on with the days in the same style that the days went on with her. She complied the routine as if the routine was a theatrical script. And she tried to be a wonderful actress.

During the hard job – in the first day of the missing – she listened a sound. A message.

The message came from him. Less than 24 hours. She was happy like a child. She was completely happy.

I tried to remember you the coffee time and a pause in the job – but there was no connection – I miss you my love.

She read several times the message. She smiled to the cell phone as if the cell phone was a close friend. And during all the day she received so many messages from him. And she made jokes inside the script she invented to help her and her missing – maybe the land of the ice made him miss warm and love and hot skin. Or the land of the ice burned his heart.

From that day on – the land of the ice was elected her preferred country.

She smiled to her close friend cell phone and looked at the calendar.

They would meet each other in few days. Exactly nine days from that day.

She smiled again. The next trip together it would be to a hot place – an island.

They would be together in the island for nine days.

She looked at the clock: nine pm.

Better sleep earlier.

In the middle of the night she woke up suddenly. Something awoke her.

A dream.

She dreamed that she was inside a maze. The maze it was in her job. She tried to go to her room but she could not get out of the maze. Many stairs with obstacles prevented her to continuing. There were many men working and blocking the stairs. Some men were lowered repairing the stairs while either standing gave the orders. She slipped in narrow spaces trying to pass. Just she was there – the only and lonely woman – trying to get out going down the stairs. She stopped for a while and looked trough a window in the middle of the maze. She saw – in the opposite side – the place she wanted to go and decided – to get out I must go up the stairs. And she didn’t wait – and went up fast.

Awaked – she smiled alone. If she had a glass of wine – she would toast the Universe and the unconscious. It was a perfect and simple resume not only about the nine days but – of course – about all her Life.

At that time – she felt calm inside her self – and the calm was not a theatrical script. And she was not trying to be a wonderful actress. And of course again she was not a whale with only ocean around her.

She just closed her eyes and went on to sleep. That could be the end of any story to anyone. But not for her. She knew it was another edition of that wonderful story.

In the morning a new message from him woke her – with a big smile she said her habitual phrase in such pleasure moments – thank you Universe.

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