A HAND IN THE FOG

XV

While she was waiting for him come back – some memories came to visit her. Sometimes the Memory surprised her – and the Past comes to sit by – to make her less lonely.

And she gave the permission and almost with hand by hand – Past and Present talked like good friends.

At that moment the Past began to talk about one morning when she was working.

She called the day of the concentration lost. She smiled. Yes. She loved put names or titles when a happening turned her head for another place. She never forgot all the years she had problems of concentration and considered her self cured.

He sent a message.

It was a surprise because he almost never wrote during the morning. He was working and she was working and he asked not to write messages because of the concentration – of course. She agreed partially. Sometimes she wrote but he answered with one or two words. She understood fast what was hide in the short answer and respected.

He was so polite and never said a hard word against these occasional transgressions. She should be attentive to him. He never said goodbye first. Never said now stop. He was really kind and polite with her.

Remembering his style, holding the hand of the Past and smiling to the Present – she was sure that she had much more to thanks him. Much more. And she turned up the head and blinked to the Universe.

The message from him in that morning it was: Here is our trip. All done.

She said for herself in real voice – yes – he is right. The cure disappeared like a bubble. She was like ever in the Past. She really could not be concentrated anymore.

It was hard push the mind, eyes, ears, hands – back again to the job.

The Memory brought so fast not the tools of her job, but all the five trips they made together. Five trips in so few time. And now the sixth trip together. He erased the nine thousand, nine hundred, forty-three kilometers on a delicious way.

For many times when they were together for few days he made jokes about – if there were another meeting. All the phrases and plans received that stamp – if. She smiled because she knew him and his jokes. Furthermore – she was sure that it would be.

He was correct, of course. He felt on his skin how fast plans could be changed. Nobody knows anything about the next minute – only her knew – she used to say to him. I know. I know all about our Future.

One day at the beach – one of their trips – they were sat very close one to another. She said this: I know about our Future. He touched her leg so soft and said please I do not want to know. Do not tell me.

And she stopped to say this until one day after dinner in living room – for their time for share the music. The dog was calm as always in these moments.

Suddenly he said – tell me what will happen with our Future. I want to know.

She smiled surprised and she began to tell what she thought. All. Every detail. She told about the time and the Time. She told about healthy and happiness. She told about what she could feel and about what he could feel. She told about what she thought about forever.

He listened. So many surprises and care. Too much love and share.

She didn’t remember exactly but maybe it was after that night that he nevermore made the joke about if. Possibly. But the Memory sometimes changes the orders because it knows that the product is the same. The important is the tattoo on and in the Memory. She felt a hug from the Past.

It was an unforgettable and touched evening for her.

In that morning from the arrived message she finally finished the job on time and went away in the evening without any mistake – of course with so much effort – and came back home hurried. She needed to read again the message.

When she was inside her home – she made a ritual.

Changed fast the clothes, served for her self a glass of wine, sat in her habitual place at the table, and put a music. She didn’t remember when was the last time she listened that specific music. She loved it above all but she just listened in such special moments, like a reverence – to the special moment and to the music.

Valse Sentimentale from Tchaikovsky.

For her that was one of the most beautiful compositions of the world. But she just listened in moments that she was sure she was happy. Happy. Not only with joy. Maybe seems the same – but are different feelings. She understood this difference after she met him – and because of him this line that separated the two sensations was bold.

That was the reason because she lost the concentration – all her was dominated for the real happiness. Now she knew. Fantastic. The unconscious made a good job. She smiled.

For sure and of course – only few times in her life she listened that music but always alone. At that time it was an occasion – a celebration. But not totally alone – he was with her in their private world of communication.

After all the ritual completed – she began to read the message calmly.

He was sure: all done.

The trip was unbelievable. Part would be in his opened car – part by ship. All the little cities and islands would be there – waiting for them.

The trip was completely out of common for her – so beautiful cities, so much history and the most beautiful sea of the Planet – with it special color around. He knew him and could evaluate how kind he was. He just chose this trip for her. He was there many times in his life and had wonderful and missing memories.

She remembered that he said – I want to go with you to this part of the world because I am sure you will be so fascinated and because your enthusiasm is contagious.

She smiled.

She remembered the surprise when she saw a picture of the last hotel of the trip and smiled. A wonderful hotel up on the rocks and the sea around. She sent to some friends the itinerary and the site of this particular hotel that he chose for them and wrote: how could I do not have enthusiasm.

Yes – it was impossible.

And she repeated he same thinking of the beginning of the memories. She was sure that she had much more to thanks him. Much more. And she turned up the head and blinked (again) to the Universe.

She put off the music and went to sleep. She was happy.

Past or Present or Future live only inside each one. Sometimes act like monsters other times act like lovers. At the end is just a private mix. Like she heard in some popular music – nobody will dreams our dream.

And the fog appears not only to provoke half visibility. Sometimes the fog appears also to announce a hot day.

That would be the next lesson.

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