A HAND IN THE FOG

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It was early in the morning for her – late for him.

She was working as her habitual style. Concentrated. This was one of her strong characteristic – the concentration.

Many years ago was quite different. She remembered that during all her life – everybody criticized her.

And they were right.

She used to travel on the fly of imagination and of course she forgot all the duties. Always and easily. Nothing was more easy at that time than dreams e phantasies.

A soft sound or a low movement – put her “away from her seat”. The brain went fast to some place that nobody could believe. Even herself. When she “came back to the seat” she needed some few minutes to identify herself. nd many times she preferred be flying away than be in front of the well dimensioned reality.

Maybe much more than a characteristic – maybe this was a wall of defense – a tower on a castle.

She smiled for this word – castle. It was necessary two material castles for her understand.

For all those years she asked and looked for a Castle to be hidden. Always.

One day – suddenly as happens when an insight borns – she had two castles to celebrate the hidden one.

The reality was hard for her most of the years of her life, so the imagination became her best friend – and supported her to go on.

Sometimes she thought that the Castles arrived very late. Other times she thought that she found the Castles very late. A semantic self discussion. Finely she stopped to fight with words or with the correct position of the words and realized that her own castle was exactly into the right place since the beginning. She smiled.

It was inside her. It was amazing when one day – she could see. It was ever there.

But she excused herself for the blindness because it is necessary look for outside wearily – for have the chance to find something inside. It is a hard job that needs so much courage and persistence.

She won.

She understood that she was not invisible. She was real. Real.

On the day she concluded this – many changes happened – inside and outside her. The look at the life changed. The look at the world changed. The look at herself changed.

It was a hard and difficult experience, but she believed that it was her last chance to be happy and calm. Be invisible it was perfect for the eye of the other – the other existed. Was real. If that was a joke – she needed to turn over the final game.

She couldn’t change the other, of course, and for sure she couldn’t change her self much more. But she could change her position. And she changed.

And she changed.

First was the silence. After was the eyes opened.

She didn’t sleep for days. Day and night she was awaked and concentrated.

Speechless. Astonished. Touched.

The three magical words that so long time ago made she feel happy when she read – now she introjected.

When he wrote to her these words he could not imagine how intense and strong could be the effect so many time after. Those words were like seeds. Maybe that was the first moment of unconscious comprehension. And she was sure that he didn’t remember that wrote those words. She smiled.

This was true: the effect of the words has no chronological time to occur. It is like a wave that comes and goes several times and only few times can really break a stone.

She would thank for that three words forever. Forever. Without logical or reason – he was the responsible for so much changes and cure of the blindness. And after this cure – she began more and more to be concentrated. Like a magnetic: one pulls another. It is so mysterious the bypasses of the brain and the emotions to support the insights.

And when she was concentrated in that morning – at that moment early for her and late for him – she received his message.

I will be with you in three weeks – for ten days. I really need to touch you. Only talk is not enough. I need to touch and to feel you.

All the theory about concentration and cure of blindness disappeared instantly.

She stopped a little – read many times the message – closed the door of her office – and smiled and kissed the message. Three weeks. Ten days together. Ten nights. Together.

It was difficult carry on the concentration. She wanted to go back home – lay down on the bed – look at the ceiling and celebrate with herself and her own space. It was a selfish moment. Much more than the sadness – joy is feed for selfish and solitaire sensations. It is impossible share at the exact moment while it is inaugurated.

It was the second time he would come to her home.

It was a delicious surprise for her to know how much he missed her. It is not easy the comprehension for not be invisible. It is hard in the practical. So much better make jokes with theory about insights than feel the reality.

Now she was real – this was the only motif that he said I really need to touch you. Only talk is not enough. I need to touch and to feel you.

She was – she is – real. It was the first proof. Words plus acts were showing in fact the proof.

She celebrated with the mirror. And smiled from herself touching the image at the mirror – a funny and serious moment. And the image also of her hands made her remember their first meeting and his hand with the soft touch. She closed her eyes and the image came inside her.

Not only the concentration wanted to run away. She smiled alone – I wanted to run away from here too.

But she must goes on. It was early and she had all the workday – before come back home. Or before lie down on the bed and feel the wonderful sensation of the Existence. And imagine his touch on her skin. And wait for the three weeks coming together with the ten days.

With her both hands together – there was her waiting for him in front of the exit at the airport. It was not early for her or late for him. They were in their real time.

When he appeared – a large smile and her hands were opened for him.

A voice came outside the place of the noise that she was in front. Turning her head she smiled.

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