A HAND IN THE FOG

                                                                               I

(For you)

They were walking back and forth when decided to go into the Park. It was a cloudy day but the temperature it was not so cold. Into the park the trees made movements with the flowers and leafs. And some fog brought to that morning a special mystery.

They were on the grass talking about nothing in special. Touches, smiles and kisses  gave to them a delicious sensation of freedom. The wonderful sensation that a couple is absolutely possible.

She said some and suddenly he stand up and said only a good bye.

She was surprised but decided for no answer or question. Only stayed on the same place and put her arms around the body.  He walked away. Through the fog she could see his hand moving slowly – but he didn’t look behind his shoulder. He went straight on the path among the trees and after all she could see only his shadow disappearing.

Lonely – she touched the grass. It was a little wet because it rain in the night before. The dew made tickling in her hand and for one instant – she changed her face expression. Instead of be sad – she smiled. They had a fight because of the time of a hug – only because the time of a hug.

Still touching and feeling the dew on the grass she looked backward trying to remember when exactly they met each other. It was a long time ago – or seemed like a long time ago. She was not sure. In a real effort to remember – maybe to send away the bad sensation of solitude – she began to sing a song or a song began to sing by itself. Everything is possible – she always repeated to her friends. A song.

She screamed in really high voice – Yes I remember now.

Sometimes the Solitude is a Dictator.

People were also on the grass reading, talking with a very low voice or listening music with headphones. The silence was broken only for a bird or some passes. When she screamed – her voice made all around stopped what they were doing and looked at her. She blinked to Universe and said congratulations to the philosopher existentialist. So it was true and he was right: the silence exists only after the sound.

She excused – one or another smiled to her but most of them returned to the “before the sound”.

This is as common as the life – anyway.

More calm and polite – she took off the scarf she was wearing – open on the grass and lay down on it. The smoothness of the grass or the land under the scarf did a warming sensation on her body. She was quiet. Just the eyes moved as looking for the past.

For some minutes she lifted the neck – but he didn’t return. He was in fact – gone. No hand and no shadows among the trees.

So – looking more inside herself than to people around or the fog – she remembered.

It was a Gala night. She was there alone – so shy in that magnificent salon. Elegant people came with elegant style. Drinks were served for professionals and formal waiters with very well-looking.

She went to her seat and after few minutes he came.

He sits and smiles to her. A small smile, surprised to find a woman, not involved in the Gala, only waiting for music. Alone. She had something different, not easy to find. She was sufficient for herself. Calm, looking around in a wide old hall, a unique experience will come. He thought that the Law of Chaos, the only order in the Universe, might bring an unexpected piece of life. He would like to be a telepathic to know what she thought about him. Civilization put filters between humans. Men and women can’t be direct, must make a dance, as the peacock around girls, showing colored feathers but with nonchalance, as an actor going away in the fog and suddenly coming back with a jump out from the fog.

He obliged himself to hold hands in a correct way, trying to seduce in a soft way.

Maybe because life wounded him, he had fear. And his soul was like a desert – only few flowers, no water, just sand and stones. His behavior was to run and to do something, no stops. 

She thought – she remembered – the first thought when he came and sit. She was surprised he was alone. He looked at her with a half-smile and said permission or some word like this before sit.  She smiled – but not a half-smile. She always smiled with all smile – the complete smile.

He sat.

There was a seat with nobody between them. At the first second when she realized the empty seat she guessed  – who was there that she couldn’t see. But she learned that some questions should never be asked – because never could be answered.

But the seat was there – empty during the Performance. Just between them – and they respected that empty seat.

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